Complete New Parent Essentials Planning Collection

240 planning questions and 25 expert readings across 4 guides.

Planning Questions

• Write about a specific moment in the past 3 months when you felt excited about blending your families. What were you doing? What made that moment feel right?
• Document 3 times you've seen your partner interact with your children. What did you notice about their approach? What felt natural vs. what seemed forced?
• Think about how you were parented as a child. List 3 specific things your parents did that you want to repeat, and 3 you want to avoid. Why?
• Reflect on a recent conflict between children in your household. What was really happening beneath the surface? What needs weren't being met?
• Write about your biggest fear regarding blending families. When do you imagine this fear showing up? What would trigger it?
• Document a moment when you felt torn between your partner and your children. What was the situation? How did you handle it? What would you do differently?
• Think about your current evening routine on weekdays. Note what feels chaotic vs. what flows smoothly. What patterns do you see?
• List 5 family traditions from your previous family structure. Which ones do your children mention most? What do those traditions represent to them?
• Reflect on how each of your children has responded to this transition so far. Write one specific behavior you've noticed from each child that tells you how they're really doing.
• Write about a time when you and your partner had completely different reactions to a parenting situation. What values were clashing in that moment?
• Write about the moment you first realized getting pregnant might not be straightforward. What were you doing? Who were you with? What thoughts went through your mind in the days that followed?
• Think back to the past 6 months. List 3-5 specific moments when infertility hit you emotionally - a pregnancy announcement, a baby shower invitation, Mother's Day. For each, note: Where were you? What did you feel? How did you respond in the moment vs. what you felt inside?
• Reflect on your relationship with your body right now. What thoughts come up when you see yourself in the mirror? How has this changed from before you started trying to conceive? What do you find yourself saying to your body - out loud or in your head?
• Document the story you had in your head about how parenthood would happen. What age did you imagine? What circumstances? How does the current reality differ from that story? What does this gap feel like?
• Think about your identity before infertility. Write down 5-7 words you would have used to describe yourself. Now write 5-7 words you'd use today. What shifted? What stayed the same? Which parts of yourself do you miss most?
• List the last 5 times someone asked you "when are you having kids?" or made a related comment. For each instance: Who asked? What did you say? What did you want to say? How long did it affect your mood afterward?
• Reflect on your grief patterns over the past 3 months. On a scale of 1-10, rate your emotional intensity each week. What patterns do you notice? Are there predictable hard times (ovulation, period, holidays)? When do you feel most stable?
• Write about a moment in the past month when you felt genuinely happy or at peace - even briefly. What were you doing? Who were you with? What made that moment different? How can you recognize these moments more often?
• Think about your partner (if applicable). Write about 3 specific moments in the past few months when you felt connected vs. 3 moments when you felt completely alone in this experience. What made the difference? What was happening in each scenario?
• Document your relationship with hope right now. Do you let yourself hope? Do you protect yourself by expecting disappointment? Write about the last time you felt hopeful about conceiving - what triggered it and how long did it last?
• Think about the moment you realized your child was becoming a teenager. What specific change did you notice? What did you feel? How did you respond?
• Recall a conversation with your teen from the past month that went well. What were you talking about? What did you do differently? What made them open up?
• Write about a time in the past year when you and your teen clashed. What triggered it? What did you each say? What do you wish you'd done differently?
• Reflect on your own teenage years. What did you need most from your parents? What did they do that helped? What hurt?
• Document the last 3 times you said "no" to your teen. What were they asking for? What was your reason? How did they react? What does this pattern reveal?
• Think about when you feel most connected to your teen. What are you doing together? What time of day? What makes those moments different from the rest?
• Write about a recent moment when your teen surprised you - either positively or negatively. What assumptions did you have? What does this tell you about how well you know them now?
• Recall how your parents handled your teenage years. What rules did they have? How did you feel about it then? How do you feel about it now?
• Reflect on the parent you imagined you'd be versus who you are with your teen. What's different? What's harder than you expected? What matters less than you thought?
• Think about your teen's other parent or co-parent (if applicable). How do your parenting styles differ? When does this cause conflict? When does it actually help?
• Write about 3 moments in the past year when you felt completely unprepared for something important. What happened? How did you handle it? What does this tell you about how you typically cope when life changes dramatically?
• Reflect on the last time you saw a parent struggling with their child in public (grocery store, restaurant, airport). What did you feel? What judgment or story did you tell yourself? What does your reaction reveal about your own fears or expectations about parenthood?
• Think about your own childhood. Write about 3 specific things your parent(s) did that you want to repeat with your child, and 3 specific things you want to do differently. For each, note a concrete memory that explains why.
• Document the last 5 conversations you've had about becoming a parent. Who initiated each conversation? What specific questions or comments did people make? Which conversations left you feeling confident vs. anxious? What pattern do you notice?
• Write about a typical weekday and a typical weekend day right now - hour by hour. What activities would be impossible with a baby? What would be harder? What might actually be easier or more meaningful? Which losses feel hardest to imagine?
• Reflect on the last time you had to care for someone or something completely dependent on you (a pet, a sick family member, a friend in crisis). How did you feel about the responsibility? When did you feel resentful vs. fulfilled? What does this tell you about your capacity for caretaking?
• Think about your identity right now. List 5 words you use to describe yourself to others. Then write: which of these will still be true after the baby comes? Which might disappear? What new words might replace them? How do you feel about that shift?
• Document 3 times in the past 6 months when you and your partner disagreed about something important (money, family, priorities, decisions). How did you resolve it? Who compromised? What does your conflict pattern suggest about how you'll handle parenting disagreements?
• Write about the moment you first seriously thought about having a baby. Where were you? What triggered it? Was it a gradual realization or a specific moment? How has that initial feeling evolved since then?
• Reflect on your current sleep patterns. What happens when you get less than 6 hours of sleep? How does it affect your mood, patience, and decision-making? Write about a time you were sleep-deprived and how you handled it.

Expert Readings

• Warning Signs: When Blended Families Need Professional Help

  Most blended family struggles are normal. Some are not. Here is how to distinguish between "this is hard but we will figure it out" and "we need a professional" — plus what type of help to get and what to expect.

• The Sibling Bond Blueprint: Helping Step-Siblings Become Actual Siblings

  Forcing stepsiblings to "be a family" backfires every time. But so does letting them ignore each other. Here is the research on how sibling bonds actually form—and the 3-phase approach that builds connection without pressure.

• The Blended Family Financial Architecture: Money Across Multiple Households

  Money destroys more blended families than parenting disagreements. Child support, unequal assets, inheritance planning, "your kids vs my kids" spending—here is the financial framework that prevents resentment before it starts.

• Building Family Identity Without Erasing the Past: The New Traditions Framework

  Blended families that try to create a "fresh start" by erasing old traditions fail. Families that keep everything from before feel fractured. Here is the 3-layer approach that honors what was while building something new.

• The Co-Parent Communication System: Managing the Ex When You'd Rather Not

  Your partner's ex will be in your life for years—maybe decades. High-conflict ex? Low-contact ex? Somewhere in between? Here's the BIFF method professionals use to communicate without escalation, plus boundaries that actually stick.

• The Unified Discipline Protocol: How to Handle Rules When Kids Have Two (or More) Homes

  Different rules at different houses is inevitable in blended families. The question isn't how to make everything the same—it's how to create consistency where it matters and flexibility where it doesn't. Here's the framework therapists use.

• Finding Meaning in the Journey: Identity Beyond Parenthood

  What if you've built your identity around becoming a parent—and that future is uncertain? Here's how to reclaim a sense of purpose and wholeness, whatever the outcome.

• Self-Care That Actually Works: Body and Mind During Treatment

  Bubble baths aren't going to cut it. Here's evidence-based self-care that addresses the specific physical and psychological toll of fertility treatment.

• Building Your Support System: Beyond the Waiting Room

  You can't do this alone—but not everyone in your life can help. Here's how to build a strategic support system with the right people in the right roles.

• When to Keep Going vs. When to Pivot: The Hardest Decision

  There's no blood test that tells you when to stop. But there is a framework. Here's how therapists and fertility specialists help people navigate the most difficult decision of their lives.

• Setting Boundaries: How to Handle Family, Friends, and Workplace Questions

  From "When are you having kids?" to "Have you tried acupuncture?"—here's the boundary-setting framework therapists teach, with copy-paste scripts for every uncomfortable situation.

• The Money Conversation: Financial Planning for Fertility Treatment

  The average IVF cycle costs $23,000—but that number hides enormous variation. Here's the complete financial picture, including hidden costs, financing options, and the spreadsheet framework financial planners use.

• What to Actually Learn: The Minimum Viable Skill Set for Week One

  There are 47 baby care books and 200 skills you could learn. You need exactly 8 skills for the first week. Here they are, with the 20-minute crash course for each.

• The Identity Shift: What No One Tells You About Becoming a Parent

  You're not just adding "parent" to your identity—you're renegotiating your entire sense of self. Here's what that actually feels like, why it's harder for some than others, and how to navigate it without losing yourself.

• Parental Leave: Negotiating Beyond Your Company's Policy

  Your company's leave policy is a starting point, not a ceiling. Here's how to negotiate for more time, more flexibility, or a better return-to-work plan—even at companies with "no negotiation" policies.

• The Partnership Audit: 5 Conversations Before Baby

  Most couples discuss baby names and nursery colors. Almost none discuss who wakes up at 3am or how to handle a career taking a backseat. These 5 conversations prevent 90% of new parent conflicts.

• Preparing Your Space: The 3-Zone Home Setup Method

  You don't need a nursery. You need three zones: Sleep, Change, and Feed. Here's how to set them up in any living situation—from studio apartment to house.

• Your Medical Team: The 3 Decisions That Shape Your Birth Experience

  OB vs midwife, hospital vs birth center, epidural vs unmedicated—these aren't just preferences. They're interconnected decisions that determine your entire birth experience.

Available Guides

• Building a Blended Family

  Navigate the challenges of merging families and stepparenting

• Coping with Infertility

  Navigate the emotional and practical challenges of infertility

• Parenting Teenagers

  Navigate adolescence with communication and boundaries

• Preparing for a Baby

  Get ready for parenthood physically, emotionally, and practically